Get a Queue

This is directed at you, Ms. 20-sumthing chatting on the phone in the red Passat, not that you’ll ever be exposed to hearing or seeing this. This is for you, too, grandpa in the Buick. Accellerate for chrissakes! This is also for everyone who shuttles along aimlessly through life like they drive. Have none of you ever learned how to queue?

The English know how to queue. So do the Russians. But most Americans can’t spell or even pronounce it. It means, keep up your place in line. Pay attention. Watch the light. Just fucking pull your goddamn car ahead. Move it a couple of feet to allow those who have other agendas in life to pass. Inch it up, baby. Let the person who’s behind you secure his or her place in line, or make it through the light.

It’s so easy to do. And it will make everyone’s day a little brighter. Especially mine.

Thank you for listening.